Saturday, March 12, 2011

All The Painful Salt Flats

Don't question when the answer is already in your heart. Just smile and share your answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What if the answer isn't there? Then where do you go???
good question.... I can tell you I have not always had the answers but grateful for those that are willing to sit with me while we find them.
Good that you have those people.
like I said I am grateful for those that are willing cause I also know what it is like to sit in the darkness.
     It might be that you...or someone you know...feels like they are in the darkest of darkness, a deep rut and can't seem to get out. Others are so lost inside that they struggle just go through the motions of being alive, just hoping to get through the next minute~or five minutes~let alone the whole day! Many things can seem to have you painfully trapped in plain view...
     You...or someone you know... might be wondering why someone, anyone, doesn't notice?! Wondering if you stood and screamed ~ would anyone take notice? It may be a pleading silent scream to the Universe at large~begging for something... even a miracle!
     Once upon a time there was a woman child who's life had brought her many internal wounds, she was so shredded, lost and directionless that she could only go through the motions thinking that she could not let anyone know, convinced that no one cared.  She likened her life to being in the Utah Salt Flats in a tornado. The tiny salt granules, that can strip the paint off a car, filleting her to the bone. Stinging her eyes to the point that she couldn't even bear to open them, always seeming to cause them to leak tears of frustration, anger, resignation, then ultimately defeat.
     She couldn't find any direction, looking up she prayed to see the sky. It wasn't to be found.
     Begging, screaming silently at the Heavens for some kind of help. A path or trail, the glimpse of a star...something...anything... to give her a hope not to give up or give in to the dispare she was feeling....
     Then one day there was a thought that tickled her mind, a thin silver thread brushed across her face from somewhere in the swirling, pelting, stinging white, salt. Trying many times to get hold of the hairlike thread, the direction of its origin unknown. Eventually gripping it tightly between her thumb and index finger she sat very still.
It wasn't much.
But it was enough.
     She sat like that for what seemed like forever, wondering if that little silver thread in all that white could possibly be the thing she had been begging the Heavens for?
Taking no chances she clung. 
     Eventually she noticed that it didn't matter what direction it was coming from for now, it was ok to use it to guide her out of the pain she was lost in...gripping it more tightly she stood, gathering hope in that tiniest of helps, she looked up. And there it was!! The lightest shade of baby blue sky! Just a flash. The threads connection was from that direction. She gathered all her strength, taking a big breath, she lifted a foot and took the tiniest of baby was all she could do...and it was enough. 
     She didn't know where that precious thread would take her, but in that small, and fleeting glimpse, she now knew it was a thread of hope from the Heaven's...
     And she dared to trust the unseen, to trust the strength of that tiny silver thread of hope...
     The woman child had wondered why no one seemed to notice her painful predicament? She felt she couldn't have asked anyone for help, after all who would she ask to help? How could she ask for help, when she wasn't even fully aware of what help she craved and needed herself? She wasn't even sure if others would understand! Surly other peoples lives couldn't possibly be this painful! No one else could possibly feel this lost and hopeless...could they?
     That was over ten years ago...
     Yes. There are many of us stranded in our own Salt Flats. Fighting our own Jabberwalkies...and yes. We have to find our own way's and our own intestinal fortitude to take the babiest of steps of hope.
     It is also true that there are people, places and things that can help you learn to recognize helps that may seem like dangling silver threads in the vast whiteness...
     It is also true that even if we feel we are not worthy of any kind of anything, or that there is no one Heavenward that wants to to listen, or can help...I promise you. There is.
     As a woman child who has survived an extended stay in a tornado filled Salt Flat, I invite you to grasp hope. Even if you at first think it is just a hair tickling and irritating you... 
     Just dare to hope that help might come, could come, will steps after all, in reality, are great strides!

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